Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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