bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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