We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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