Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
