so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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