508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
