So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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