I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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