do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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