and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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