I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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