he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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