Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize