found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
