it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
