we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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