So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
