whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
