I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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