So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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