Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
