We're facebook friends in real life
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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