What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
