conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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