i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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