please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Randomize
