just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
