so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
