1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize