I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
