U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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