I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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