Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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