Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
third nipple confirmed
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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