Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
