My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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