My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
