Christians are straight up FREAKS
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Can I color on your dick again?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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