You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
