Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
