white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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