Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
