Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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