When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
This house was built for laser tag.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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