What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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