i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
