I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
