drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It's official drugs can't kill me
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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