How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
love makes seman taste better
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
