ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
