The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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