I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize