ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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