I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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