And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
