those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
