Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
