just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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