Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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