the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
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That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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