girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
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we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
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Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Who put my cat in the fridge?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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