New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
