so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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