you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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